Lightning Review

Lightning - Dean Koontz

This year, along with my King reread, I'm delving into my top 10 Koontz books again. (Probably Top 12, just so I have a book for every month, but I'm having trouble picking two more.) I have a theory about Dean Koontz, and it goes like this: He's only written ten stories in his career, and he's been rewriting them ever since. This one is structured an awful lot like From the Corner of His Eye and the absolutely terrible Life Expectancy, which is the only Koontz book I've ever given a single star to, other than his money-grabbing short story tie-ins.

Lightning has everything I miss about Koontz. Coherent plot, a theme, no uber-smart dog character, and enough heart to choke a cannibal. It's a damn fun book, if a little... old fashioned where ideas are concerned. Let's completely overlook the concepts borrowed from the movie Terminator. Let's also overlook the fact that a man changes the future because of instalove. Let's furthermore overlook that there are two stalkers in this book: one's a secret admirer and the other is a "guardian", so that's okay. After all, what's the difference between a stalker and your boyfriend? Your boyfriend's hot.

(These are the jokes, fuckface. Deal with 'em.)

If we're to forgive all this, then we can safely enjoy the book. I'm willing to do that for nostalgia's sake alone. I'd hate to think that a younger version of me passed by these things without so much as a raised eyebrow, but he did. So, because I'm cutting that blind douchepickle some slack, I'll cut Koontz some slack, too.

In summation: I wish I could travel back in time and slap myself for enjoying this book so much, but I can't Paradox!, as Chris says, over and over and over... I get it. Doctor Who is a lie, and H. G. Wells was on that rock. I can dig it. Read it for a healthy dose of 1989. Because not being confined to a wheelchair is worth risking Hitler winning the war. Logic. Set. Match.

(This review is brought to you by Sarcasm. I received this book free of charge in exchange for puberty.)