SPOILER ALERT!

Doctor Who Season 8 Review

 

I know I'm late to the party, but after the crappy season opener and that fandom-killing Robin Hood episode, I had to take a break. I wasn't sure if it was Capaldi or the writing or a mixture of both. Now I'm pretty certain it's equal parts of all of the above. And I don't wanna hear how no one liked Smith or Tennant when they first took the reins. I loved Tennant from scene one and Smith after his second episode. After 12 episodes, Capaldi has yet to grow on me.

 

I waded through eleven episodes of terrible storylines to get to the finale, and it was only okay in places. Moffat actually managed to fuck up a terrifically emotional scene by trying to inject some humor out of nowhere. And yes, I'm talking about the Mistress's Mary Poppins routine at the end of episode 12. Her floating into the graveyard on her goddamn umbrella ruined the entire season finale for me. 

 

Peter Capaldi proved in episode 12 that he can deliver when the writing isn't on par with explosive diarrhea, but I still don't feel him as the Doctor. He has very little personality when he's not cussing. He's not darker, like Moffat said he wanted, Capaldi's just not a good Doctor. When he tries to convey the Doctor's childish side, he's laughable, but I feel like I'm laughing at his performance and not his jokes/prattfalls. When he tries to be commanding, he's even more laughable because he just doesn't have any presence. In fact the only time I like Capaldi as the Doctor is when he's sad. Capaldi seems in his element when he's trying to make people cry. And I will admit, I teared up in episode 12. That is until Moffat shit the bed and Poppins floated into frame. I know I already mentioned that, by holy shit did that ruin things for me. It's like coming home to find your best friend fucking your wife and your dog.

 

Clara is still rubbish. Never have liked her. I was hoping she'd die in a fire or be pummeled to death by sentient dildos, or something halfway interesting, but no. She's still around. Whatever happened to her leaving the show? Why is that not a thing anymore? Oh, and just to be clear, I have nothing against the actress who plays Clara and wish her a long life. I simply want her character to be murdered in the most horrific fashion possible. Please and thank you with sugar and diamonds on top. Seriously, if it's a monetary thing, I'll pay whatever it takes. Just... please, kill her. Smootches.

 

So here we are. I'm stuck with a mediocre Doctor and a shit companion, who the writers keep trying to make interesting by giving her crying jags. No amount of tears will make me care for Clara the Nonentity. So far the only good thing about this past season was Danny Pink, and they fucking killed him. 

 

In summation: Oh how I disliked this season. Lemme counteth the ways. I normally buy each episode from Amazon as soon as they're available. I quit doing that with this season after the pile that was Robin Hood, which was... what? Episode 2, I think. I waited until Netflix had season 8 available for streaming before I decided I wanted to try it again. I usually watch an entire season in 1-3 days. Took me two weeks this time because I could only stomach an episode a night. 

 

Final Judgment: I firmly believe that Matt Smith saw this season's script and quit Doctor Who to work on Terminator: Genisys, which was only slightly better written than the films you find on Cinemax After Dark.

 

(Side note: I want a female Doctor.)