It Follows Movie Review


I watched this one while it was in theaters. I didn't want to review it until I digested what I saw. Well, it's fully digested and I don't think I like it very much. Here's why. 


It Follows follows (see what I did there? *hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge*) a young woman who's literally been fucked into a horrible situation. And no, not pregnancy. She's caught ghost herpes and must pass along the disease before it kills her. 


Seriously, how could anyone miss the semi-truck-and-trailer-sized subtext going on in this movie. I get it. Those you fuck follow you around for the rest of your life, so be careful who you fuck. I think the realization concerning what message this movie was trying to convey, even more than the hype surrounding this film, killed it for me.


I'm sorry, but I'm not the guy who judges women based on who or what they previously had inside them. I know society does, but it's none of my business. Bedroom shenanigans should be kept between those involved in said shenanigans. A vagina is not a conquest. Just because someone's tread ground there doesn't make the land any less valuable. Unless they poisoned the water supply, but there's medication for that.


I kinda/sorta dig what the filmmakers did with the horror element. It Follows has some rather creepy scenes, but it also has a handful of laughable segments that, in places, spoiled the mood for me.


Dig it: You know that scene in that one Kevin James movie... you know what, nevermind, here's the gif.



That scene is in It Follows. I howled with laughter because it was so terribly out of place. It's not a horse that does the kicking, but that doesn't make it any less funny. 


In summation: It Follows is your average 70s or 80s stalker-killer horror film with a slightly original killer. Add to that a premise marred by the writers thunderfucking you with their morals, and you have a watchable car accident. Not pleasant, but it won't make you look away either.


Final Judgment: A big-budget sex-ed film.


P.S. If you want a better version of this film that is essentially the same thing for free, follow this link. No worries. It's legal and not porn.